


One Day More.

by merciki



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, Les Misérables - All Media Types, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: AU, F/M, Katniss is a singer, Musical, modern day AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 01:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5397371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merciki/pseuds/merciki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss is a background singer in the musical Les Mis. Peeta Mellark is Javert.<br/>Based on a real encounter, last october.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day More.

Friday, November 6th 

"The chorus? Ready?" the director's voice cut through the discussion Katniss was having with her friends. They'd been waiting for quite a while now for the barricade scene to be perfect, and Gavroche had already died three times tonight. The joy of being in Les Mis, Katniss thought. Poor Mary, having to climb the barricade over and over again. 

In this version of the world-famous musical, Gavroche was a girl. Last month it had been a boy; a cute, dark haired guy named Eric. However, Nature decided it’d be fun to play with him and that it was time for his voice to break. At the last minute, a few days before the final rehearsal, Mary was brought in by her mother, the director, to fill in as Gavroche.   

Katniss suddenly felt the sharp edge of an elbow   pressing into her side, and looked around quickly, realizing the final rehearsal was about to begin and she should really take her place in the chorus.   

The first scenes went by quickly. The ball, the jail, Valjean and Javert made their appearance on stage. Katniss always had quite a liking of Valjean since she read the books in school, years ago. There's everything to like about Valjean. His kind heart, always caring and ready to take the fault for someone else, and of course, his redemption. He's the hero of the story, after all. 

Both singers begin their duet, bringing out their voices on the quiet scene. The theater is empty, but the singers are already in character. They don't give a half-hearted performance, singing just as if they had a complete audience. They help bring out the best   of everyone on stage. 

Katniss watched the performance in awe. She loved singing, but it wasn't her job. There were only three pros on stage, acting in the main roles of Marius, Valjean and Javert. The rest of the actors and singers are amateurs who came together to form this troupe and offer the people of Panem, VA, the best shows possible. Katniss's friend Gale landed the role of Enjolras. Her other friend Johanna was Mrs Thenardier, and sang in the chorus. She wasn't all too fond of being in the spotlight, having always thought she belonged to the shadows - not that she was shy. 

The chorus suited her well, as she was able to sing with her friends, and she had first class seats for the show. This was the night of the premiere, and the ball of stress Katniss was feeling in her belly was slowly starting to make knots in her stomach. There wasn't a thing she could do about it, though. 

The rehearsal had gone smoothly, without any technical problem or audio failure, as if it had been the hundredth time they’d done it it instead of the first. The director, Effie, a small woman who was a complete ball of energy, congratulated them all before calling the end of rehearsal. 

"You ready, Katniss? We're having dinner outside in ten." Katniss nodded at her friend Madge, who was the one that dragged Katniss into this chorus years ago. She’d been more than reluctant at first, hesitant to sing in front of people, but it somehow grew on her.  The chorus covered a different theme each year, ranging from songs of the Seventies, to the repertoire of a single artist. It all depended on the collective choices the group made. Katniss wouldn't admit it to Madge, but she really had fun rehearsing every Wednesday evening. 

She hadn't really planned on being in Les Mis. The offer came from another company a few towns away, who had played the show in District 13 last March. So when Panem Theater asked them to redo it, the company had asked for Katniss’s chorus to join in to support their background vocalists. Some of the members of the chorus agreed, and once again, Madge – with the help of her cousin Delly – dragged Katniss into it. After learning the songs, the chorus began rehearsing together a few weeks ago working hard to catch up with them. 

Around 7 pm, Katniss grabbed her water bottle, put her scarf around her neck, and followed her friends outside to join the rest of the troupe. Everybody seemed to mingle with one another easily, talking as if they've been in the same company forever, exchanging jokes and songs. Even the professionals join them a bit later, once the makeup is removed and the jeans and t-shirts are back on. Nobody would want a Valjean with a beautiful ketchup stain on his light-brown coat, after all. 

Katniss couldn't help but smile at the sight of Javert and Marius having fun taking selfies with each other and the rest of the troupe. She was sitting on the top of a small cement wall, her plate carefully placed on her lap, trying not to make a mess. From her higher place, she could see Madge talking with Gale, or more accurately shamelessly flirting with him, Delly and Darius laughing together, as well as Vincent and Matthew trying to do a cup song. Letting her eyes wander above the mass of people eating and laughing, she almost didn't catch the pair of blue eyes looking at her. 

The move was so quick she doubted for a minute that it had actually happened until they moved back to check on her, from the other side of the large table, to quickly move back again when the man realized she had spotted him. Was it a blush she could see on his cheeks? No, it must have been caused by the cold of the night, the chilled October air giving him this blush. Nothing to do with her. 

For men that didn't know each other two days ago, the pros seem to get along really well. Finnick Odair and Peeta Mellark were around the same age, in their mid-twenties, and it was quite strange to see Marius and Javert having fun with each other, playing on their phones, taking silly pictures. Valjean, or rather Haymitch Abernathy, was slightly older than the rest of the cast, and looked at them with a knowing grin, not really into modern technology , but much more into the Cabernet Sauvignon someone brought. Katniss just hoped he would be able to play his part correctly. 

They all eat in a casual mood, mingling with each other, talking about the fresh night air, the chill of the wind, and the thrill of stage fright; everything but the show that’s nearly starting. They made noise, these fifty people gathered at the back of the theater, so much that people coming to see the show mistook it for the real entry. 

And suddenly, everything became serious. Dinner was packed quickly, and everybody fled to their dressing rooms to get started on costume and makeup. That was the only good thing being a background singer, Katniss thought. Dressed all in black, there was no need for spending long minutes painting their faces, because nobody would notice them. 

Excitement was climbing slowly, and everybody reacted a different way. Madge and Delly gathered downstairs to talk about their upcoming shopping spree – and most certainly how to convince Katniss to come with them, while other members of the chorus decide to rehearse "At the End of the Day" for the umpteenth time today. 

As per habit, Katniss remained alone, as she liked this atmosphere before the show started, when everything around her was in a fever, and she could be on her own. Nobody cared that she wasn't a part of the group anymore, everybody was so focused on what had to be done, how to do it, and quickly. Nobody paid attention to her, a long dark-haired woman, lost against the black curtain. 

She sat on the stage units where they would all be standing on later, and looked around, trying to slow down her beating heart. In front of her, Darius appeared, in a dark suit and opera hat, nervously rubbing his hands. He would play Felix in the first scene, Fantine's lover, but would also later be the foreman in Madeleine's plant, and the well-known Mr. Thenardier. His performance in Master of The House with Johanna was quite a sight. But you wouldn't believe this, looking at the shy man trying to relax. It's really incredible what being on stage can do to people, transforming him from a shy man, unsure of himself, to someone that literally stole the show. He looked up to Katniss and she nodded, a small smile on her lips, trying to convey some of her confidence to him. 

Katniss knew she would be more stressed the next day, as her sister and mother would be in the audience, and she would have to resist looking at them in fear of ending up with a big smile on her face while singing the beggars song. 

But in this moment, Katniss only breathed in deeply, following the advice of their chorus director, trying to loosen the anxiety ball in her belly. The ruffled noise of the crowd on the other side of the curtain began getting louder as the public gathered and started to sit down. 

One after another the actors and singers came onto the stage, in various states of nervousness. Kids were running around, waiting for their moment, Darius was on the verge of breaking down, and Katniss guessed the pros were waiting just behind the black curtain, as Valjean and Javert would have to be in the Chain Gang Song. 

Everybody stilled. Music started. The show was on. 

As a chorister, Katniss had very little to do at the beginning. The Chain Song was for the men, so she just watched the ballet of decors being moved in a matter of seconds, passing from a joyful ball scene in Paris to a prison in the South of France. Haymitch did his part, lifting the foam stone from the stage, saving his comrade, and then the song began. Javert first appearance was imminent. Katniss wondered whether Peeta, the young man, would be up to the challenge of singing with, and against Haymitch, an old professional. But she didn't have to wonder for too long, as Javert appeared, in the simple uniform of a prison guard. Peeta's voice was sure and loud when he called for prisoner 24601. 

Every doubt Katniss had about Peeta were swept away with this first song. He embodied Javert perfectly. Add to that, he was really handsome, with his blond hair falling in curls in front of his blue eyes. Delly and Madge just couldn't keep their eyes off of Finnick, who played Marius, but there was nothing that attracted Katniss to him. Of course, he was good looking, and apparently to die for when he was in his Marius suit, but there was too much to him to be real. His hair was too perfect, looking just like he had fallen from bed, his eyes were too green, and he had a body sculpted like a Greek statue, which he showed off every time he could, walking shirtless backstage. Katniss had seen women literally drooling at the sight of him, his jeans low on the hips, well aware of the eyes on him, and well, let's just say he really wasn't her type. 

She came out of her reverie when the   familiar notes of the music began. Taking a deep breath, she emptied her mind of the images of handsome men to focus on the damn song. "At the End of the Day" is the nightmare of all the members of the chorus. It is quick paced, with lots of words to sing very quickly, and no mistake was allowed, if they wanted to do it entirely. One missed word and you were out of the whole couplet. And of course, being an alto voice wasn't helping Katniss, the louder voices being the one helping the others harmonize. 

The quiet roll of the drums announced the start of the song. 

Katniss took a deep breath, focusing before diving in. There was no time to rest until the end of the song, ending with Fantine's solo, giving the chorus the respite they needed before the next song. 

When the music ended, Katniss started to relax, as she now awaited Javert and Valjean's turns – more accurately, Javert and Madeleine, the secret identity of the former convict. Katniss caught sight of a flash of blond walking on the side of the scene, pacing between the curtains until it's time to step into action. 

The actors weren’t all in costume for the rehearsal. Only Haymitch had decided to put on the Valjean coat to help him get into character, as he had told them at supper, but Katniss hadn't seen the outfit for Javert yet. Nor Marius for that matter. But she strangely had no interest in the latter, contrary to most of the women who had started to flit around Finnick during each break, or whenever they could. She was sure he would look very good in tight pants, a long suit jacket, and hat and gloves, but she couldn't find it in herself to be attracted to him. Blond haired, on the other hand…. 

Peeta was donning quite the appearance in a dark blue jacket with golden shoulder pads, and tight beige trousers ending in a pair of riding boots. A cane completed the outfit, adding to his stature. He really was his character, from head to toe He looked at Haymitch as if they were equals, even with the older man having a few inches on him. But Peeta's broad shoulders and stature made Katniss completely forget about this difference. It was as if her eyes were drawn to him. Surely it was just the attraction of the uniform, just like with Tom Cruise in Top Gun, nothing more. 

 

She needed to focus on what was happening, on singing, the sole purpose of her presence on stage, and not on a pair of hands holding a cane. There were songs to sing for the audience, and she didn't intend on disappointing them, or her friends from the chorus. 

That's what she resolved to do. Only to fail miserably. Each time Peeta came onto the stage, she couldn't help but look at him, a clear match to the experienced Haymitch, and their duet in The Confrontation was everything Katniss had hoped for. It was a part of the musical she had always found intense. This time it turned fierce as both actors looked each other straight in the eyes, singing their lines with passion. When Haymitch grabbed Peeta's cane, Katniss thought she saw a move of surprise in the older man's grip, as if Javert wouldn't comply with the scenario and fall on the stage. 

Thankfully, everything went well, and Valjean escaped to look for little Cosette at the Thenardiers'. 

Katniss's eyes were still on Peeta, however, as he took the time to stand up from the stage, grab his cane and exit the scene, passing in front of the stage unit she was on. She didn't dare look at him, not ready to acknowledge whatever was happening inside of her when she was near him. She concentrated on the scene in front of her, and as the walls of the tavern started to appear, she looked at Darius, who was fidgeting behind, clearly worried about making his grand entrance. He kept on rubbing a silver bracelet that he kept on putting back into his leather apron, only to take it out after a few seconds and repeat his routine, over and over. If he is as good as he was in rehearsals, the audience will be laughing at his and Johanna's behavior throughout the song, and Katniss knows she'll have trouble remaining serious and beginning at the right time. 

A few seconds before he had to come onto the stage, Darius' behavior changed from the shy and worried man he was into the loathsome Thenardier. The scene flies back, the audience reacting at the right time, and huge applause saluted the performance. 

Katniss quickly grabbed a pack of old blankets from under the stage unit, giving them away to their owners, before putting her own dark green one on her shoulders. She breathed in deeply, trying to find glimpses of the scent of the previous owner of the blanket - her father. He was long gone, dead in a car accident eleven years ago, leaving his three girls to fight the world on their own. 

She felt the movement of her friends from the chorus, as they began walking onto the scene, begging for a coin or a piece of bread. It's a choice from the directors, to add the members of the chorus to the group of beggars, to give an impression of a bigger crowd. Katniss wasn't used to being in the spotlight, and didn't particularly like it, but this time, in the middle of around thirty-five people, she felt okay. Only friendly faces were looking at her, trying to make her laugh when they had their backs to the audience – particularly Vincent, who was clearly the designated clown of the group. She had to keep a sad face – she was a beggar, after all – and sing her lines without laughing at the shenanigans the others put her through. 

Going back to her stage unit at the end of the song, Katniss realized the first act was nearly over, and the biggest part of the show had already past. It was always the same, she thought, you spend days and weeks rehearsing for a few shows that go by faster than lightning. Enjolras was now on his table, haranguing his friend to go for the barricade, to stand up for those who needed it the most, with Marius and Cosette meeting in front of the portal. 

Katniss watched from the side of the stage as "One more day", the final song of the first act, arrived. The singer of the chorus as well as the extras were supposed to come on stage, cheering with each other, giving the effect of a mass of people readying themselves to fight, before everybody turned to face the public in the last verses of the song.  She realized almost too late that she had to go on stage too, instead of lingering in the back, looking at the show from the best place. She hurried to take the place she had thought of since rehearsing – in the back, far from the spotlight – only to realize her delay in coming onto the scene didn't allow her to go there without being too obviously spotted. She settled instead on resting where she was, filling a void that brought her to the second rank, just behind Javert. 

She could easily see the sweat drops  under the line of his hair, running along his neck into the collar of his jacket. She was able to see up close how stocky he was, with large shoulders, going on to a rather thin waist, and two muscular legs, anchored steadily on the hard floor beneath his riding boots. She was so taken by a particular little drop of sweat that was hanging dangerously on the edge of one of his locks of hair that she forgot to raise her fist at the end of the song, not at all in the revolutionary mood that was required. The curtains closed in front of the company, and Katniss looked around to see if their director was anywhere to be spotted. She released a deep breath when she noticed nobody had seen her missing the move. 

She scolded herself for not being focused enough. How could a single drop of sweat prevent her from doing something that simple? It wasn't her at all, being distracted like that. Katniss brushed the thought off, clearly it must be the exhaustion of the last days coming back to her. She had had to work her regular schedule this week, because apparently being in a musical all weekend long wasn't something that gave you days off. She fully expected to be completely exhausted by Monday morning, when she would still have to go to work. She’d probably need a caffeine drip to be able to go through it. 

Yes, it was most definitely exhaustion that made her look at the neck of a perfect stranger, focusing on a single drop. 

Katniss took a deep breath, decided to go on with the show as focused as possible, when she heard a voice. 

"Are you okay?" 

Looking around her, she tried to figure out two things, first was who had been talking, and second, who that person was talking to.   

Katniss found herself alone with only one person in front of her; the man whose neck had captured her attention a few minutes ago. And said man, Peeta, was now smiling and looking at her, while expertly taking his mike off his head. 

She deduced he was expecting an answer. 

"Yeah," was the only answer her brain could come up with. He seemed to need more of an answer, as his look became more insistent. 

"It's the song, you know? It always gives me goosebumps." 

"It's true, it's really powerful. And tonight with the added choirs, it was great, you--" 

"Katniss!" 

Madge had made her way through the crowd of people on stage, who were congratulating one another, high fiving each other, and scattering around. 

"We're going downstairs! It's Lydia's birthday, and guess what she brought!" 

"Cheese buns?" asked Katniss, a sparkle in her silver eyes at the prospect of eating her favorite treat. 

"No, girl, she brought homemade cookies!" 

Without another word, and not even realizing Katniss had been in a conversation with Peeta, Madge linked her arm with her friend's and dragged her away towards the dressing rooms downstairs. 

The members of the chorus had settled in a small space of the dressing rooms, staying together in this sea of almost-strangers gathered everywhere. Katniss found her bag easily, and took her bottle of water quickly, taking a long sip out of it to calm her dehydrated throat, before putting on her scarf. 

Lydia was passing cookies to everybody around, celebrating her 52nd birthday with a bang, in the middle of a performance. Soon, their little space became the gathering point of the crowd, people coming and going as they took the small delicacies, and came by to kiss or hug her. 

Katniss discreetly made her way to the nearby stairs , needing some time alone, since the twenty minutes of intermission wouldn't last long. It's not that she didn't like people, but she’d never felt comfortable in the middle of a crowd, even less so in crowded places. She was a woman that loved being outside, on empty tracks in the forest, or camping by her father's lake. She never had any problem with solitude, even looking for it at times, revelling in the quiet and peace it would bring her. 

The corridor leading towards the dressing room was packed with kids completely hyped by the show, making Katniss turn left to reach the backstage and try to make an escape outside. Unfortunately, the rain had decided to start pouring, and technicians had  to use the time to test the different levels of batteries on the mike, making a ruckus that made her flee. 

The only place she could think of was the scene. With everybody scattered around, and the décor for the second act already put on the stage, it was the perfect place to rest. She peeked through the heavy curtain, and saw the scene was empty. Perfect. 

She grabbed the blanket she had used earlier and folded it neatly before putting it back under the stage unit, thinking of the next day. She then quietly settled upon the elevated box, taking her time to breathe deeply, to assess her chances of being there, on this stage, at this moment. They may be only amateurs, but they were pouring their hearts out there, giving the best show they could to the audience. 

A giggle bothered her quiet peace, as a group of teenagers, three boys and a girl, came on stage and sat on the stage unit on the other side of the podium. From what she could hear, they were doing what teenagers do, flirting, all the while trying not to. Typical. Katniss had been around a lot of them during the summers she spent as a camp counselor, and was no stranger to their behavior. As long as they didn't disturb her, she wasn't going to be too annoyed with them. The curtain moved behind Katniss, but she didn't turn her head. It was bound to happen, her little paradise would fill up with more and more people as intermission was drowning to its end. She saw the shape of a body moving from the corner of her eye, and almost immediately heard the shrieking voice of the teenager getting all sugary. 

"Peeta, come sit with us!" 

Lifting her head finally, Katniss saw the man walking towards the group of teenagers, finding a place next to the teenage girl (Cashmere? Glimmer? She couldn't remember the name to save her life). She didn't want to be part of the conversation, it was clearly not her place, but Katniss couldn't help but listen to what was said. 

"You are the perfect Javert, you know that? We had another guy playing the role last spring, but he was nothing like you!" 

"Thank you, I guess?" Peeta answered, clearly bothered by the girl’s attitude. He shimmied a little to put some space between him and her, but she leaned on him a bit more. 

"You know, I love Les Mis. I mean, the love story between Cosette and Marius is awesome. It brings so much to the story – it is in fact the story!" 

"What's your name?" 

"Oh, I'm Glimmer!"   

"Did you read the book, then, Glimmer?" 

"Of course! I read the Wikipedia resumé." 

Katniss could hear Peeta's sigh from the other side of the stage. 

"You should really try to read it by yourself, you know? To make your own opinion, have your own thoughts, not those written by someone you don't even know." 

"Oh, yes, I plan on doing that someday soon, of course! I want to be able to think about it for myself, you know, it's important, cogito ergo sum and all that matters, we should really take that into account." 

"Or simply just say nothing from time to time." 

Katniss looked over, where Peeta and the teenagers were gathered. The boys were drinking Glimmer's words, apparently completely under her charm, while the older man seemed really bothered by her attitude. 

"You’re right, and well, as a future psychologist, because that's what I want to be when I graduate from college, I need to understand how everything works, you know. That's why I find it so fascinating to talk to someone being so talented!" 

"And here I thought the first thing a psychologist had to learn was to listen and read between the lines. I guess I never received the memo." 

Katniss couldn't help the bubble of laughter that crept up her throat, and even when she put her hand on her mouth to quiet herself, she knew she'd been heard when all the heads turned her way. 

But this girl was just too much – didn't she get that Peeta wasn't interested in her inane speeches? She did too much, was too giddy, too teenage… didn't she get she was underage too?   

Katniss tried as much as she could not to laugh for too long, and finally stopped after a couple seconds. So far this was the best intermission she'd ever had. It was the first time she actually laughed during a show. 

Peeta turned to her, a smirk on his lips before addressing her directly. 

"Don't you agree?" 

"On the book? No, it's not a love story, it's the story of love and hope in places there shouldn't be." 

"Well, that's what I said!" Glimmer interrupted. "It's a love story!" 

"If by love story you mean the story of a man who throughout eight hundred pages tries to prove to himself and everyone around him that there is love everywhere, even in the darkest of days, that people will lend a hand, and help, that even the darkest of characters can at the end understand he was mistaken and that people can change, then it is a love story. But it's certainly not the story of Marius and Cosette. Hugo was a huge fan of Shakespeare's works. He always brought up humor and light moments in his stories – but you can expect tons of angst and drama after each and every one of them. Just like in Hamlet or King Lear. Even in Romeo and Juliet. Of course, there is a love story between Marius and Cosette, but what is it used for? To show how lucky they were to be together after the night of the barricades, after so much dread, so much violence? Because the main theme of the book is the struggle of the people fighting to survive." 

Katniss couldn't remember the last time she told such a long speech, to complete strangers nonetheless. But there was something in Glimmer's behavior that bothered her to no end, and she thought the girl needed to be put in her place for once. 

"I agree with you – although I didn't know Hugo was fond of Shakespeare. But that makes sense, really. He wrote plays, too, right?" 

"Yeah, but he is mostly known for his poetry and novels. And his political engagement against Napoleon." 

"You know a lot about him!" Peeta sounded impressed. 

"I like reading." 

"I can tell. And well, the book is really good too." 

"Something all kids should read," Katniss added. 

"Yes, but it has to be their choice, you can't force them to read." 

"Agree. Too bad the size of the books will prevent so many kids from reading." 

"They read the Harry Potter series, right?" Peeta argued. 

"Oh, I loved the Harry Potter movies! So much fun!" Glimmer interrupted , at which Peeta sighs. 

"True. Very subversive books, aren't they, Glimmer?" At the sight of the young girl’s bulging eyes, a sure sign she didn't understand the phrase, Katniss couldn't help but chuckle again. 

"Just like these books, did you read them? The Games of Hunger?" Peeta directed his question clearly at Katniss, before turning to Glimmer. "Yes, the love story where the heroine has to choose between the tall, handsome, fighting guy, and the baker's boy. You know the next installment is out soon?" 

"Yeah, I plan on seeing it with my sister. She hopes the heroine will end up with the baker." 

"The baker?" snickered Glimmer. "Why would she go with this guy when you have Liam Hemsworth around? Like, seriously? How old is your sister? Twelve?" 

"These books are good too, really," Peeta interrupted. "And the movies were good as well The camera helps us better understand some of the cynicism the author put in the books.  " 

"Yeah, seeing the world they depict through other's eyes, not only the heroine’s. The first one, though…" Katniss added. 

"I know what you mean. It's good they changed directors in between." 

"Three minutes, Peeta." Finnick's face came through the curtain, making both adults startle. Katniss realized then that they were alone on stage, the teenagers having disappeared. 

Peeta stood up suddenly, his friendly face turning serious in an instant. 

"I'm sorry, I need to... you know, concentrate." 

"Oh, no, I'm the one who's sorry. I took all your time!" 

"No, really, don't worry. It's good to talk books with someone who understands them. Now, if you'll allow me…." 

"Of course. Again, I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. Really." 

Peeta smiled slightly, a little line on his otherwise now serious face. 

"May I ask what your name is?" 

"Oh, yes, of course. I'm Katniss." 

He nodded before moving backstage, leaving Katniss sitting on the stage unit, wondering what exactly had happened. 

She didn't have time to muse for long, as the crowd started to fill the stage silently. Well, as silently as thirty people coming in could, anyway. 

Katniss took her place on the little podium, waiting for her friends to come join her. Madge was the first to reach her, and began whispering in her ear. 

"Where were you? I've looked for you everywhere!" 

"Just here. I needed a bit of quiet, you know? Too noisy downstairs, too crowded. I needed to breathe." 

Madge chuckled, shaking her head from left to right. 

"What?" "You'll never change, Kat." 

"Why would I?" 

"Maybe you're right… I don't know--" 

A chorus of "shh" echoed on all the stage, signaling it was time to reopen the big curtain. Time for concentration. And strength. 

As the barricade was built – or rather brought onto stage by the technical staff, the members of the chorus took their position behind the heavy décors. Because, heavy or not, when you have men climbing on it, feigning to be in the middle of a battle, you needed someone to prevent the barricade from falling, right? And that was the main task of the choir during part two, until the very last scene, after Javert's suicide, after Cosette and Marius' wedding, when they'll have to sing the epilogue. 

Katniss retreated backstage as soon as she could, still feeling the after effects of the singing, the thrill of being on stage. The show was nearly over, and once more, it was too quickly gone, lasting the time of a breath instead of the three hour show the audience was seeing. 

She knew there was around fifteen minutes left before she had to go back onstage. Almost everybody would be watching the play, and this was her chance to be alone in the dressing rooms, to grab a sip of water, and maybe a bite of her cereal bar if she was lucky enough to find it quickly in the mess of her purse. 

She quickly went down the stairs, feeling motivated by the prospect of eating something. Just as she thought, she found the place empty. Humming quietly under her breath, she went straight to her bag and began looking through it, emptying whatever was in the way of her food. 

"Quite the sight, it is." 

She jumped and nearly bumped her head on the wall in front of her, startled by the voice behind her. She had expected and thought to be all alone, able to empty her bag from the trash that usually lingered in it – and that’s exactly what she’d done. 

"Oh my god!" Katniss started to grab what she had just dumped out of her bag, trying to prioritize what shouldn't be in sight of a man first, and that included the tampon she was currently trying to reach. Chance being clearly not on her side, it escaped her fingers and rolled towards the blond, handsome man standing next to the door. 

To Katniss's shame, he bent down to retrieve the small cylinder from where it stopped, a few inches from his black dress shoes, picked it up, and handed it to her without even blinking. She took it quickly from his hand, feeling the blush creeping on her cheeks, as she gathered the rest of her stuff and began putting it back. 

"I'm so sorry, I thought I was alone…" 

"Don't apologize, there is no need to." Peeta's voice was soft, gentle, just like he had been with her an hour ago, on the stage. "Need help?" 

"What? No, NO!" she didn't want him to help her find anything else in her bag, too afraid he would put his hands on the things a woman didn't want any guy to see – the tampon incident was enough to give her shame for a lifetime. 

To Katniss's surprise, he chuckled. 

"No, I don't want to look into your bag – that's a thing I learnt with my sister the hard way, trust me. I was wondering if I could help you, if there was anything I could do for you." 

"Oh, no, thank you. I'm pretty sure I have a cereal bar somewhere in this bag.I'm going to find it soon." 

She went back to her search, cursing herself for not hearing him coming, because now that she was paying attention, she noticed he walked as heavily as  an elephant as he left her to her business, and her shame. 

Soon enough though, the heavy steps were coming back towards her. 

Katniss lifted her head to him as he lingered in the doorjamb, staring at her. 

"Do you mind if I sit here?" 

What could she say? That there was plenty of space in the other room, that soon she would have to climb up and so would he because the final was coming? That she felt nervous in his presence, even though she didn’t feel threatened? 

"Of course,” she heard herself answer, way before her mind had stopped elaborating new reasons for not wanting him nearby. 

"Here." He handed her an apple and cinnamon bar. "I came down to eat something too, since I'm not really needed until the salute, you know?" 

"Well, you're dead so…." 

"Take it, Katniss. I'm starting to tire here…." 

"No, I have one in this." 

"Katniss. It's a cereal bar, not the Crown Diamonds. Take it, or you're going to be late up there." 

She sighed, taking the bar from his outstretched hand. 

"I'll give you one tomorrow, then." 

"It's a deal,” he winked." How long until we have to go back?" 

"I'd say, five, seven minutes for you tops." 

"I'd better hurry back there, then. Thank you for the bar, Peeta." 

"You're welcome, Katniss." 

She smiled before leaving the small room, pretending her heart wasn't beating way too fast. 

 

\- 

The rest of the show was lost in a blur of noise. The final song, the salutes, the applauses, the greetings, the hugs between everybody. 

Katniss exited the stage quietly, discreetly, avoiding as much people as she could. The only thing on her mind being how to get in her bed as soon as possible, to recover for the next day. These three shows, that were all together more than ten hours on stage, would be harassing enough and she still had to show up at work on Monday and put in a complete day of work. 

Moreover, tomorrow evening, her mom and sister would be in the audience seeing her onstage for the first time. All Katniss wanted was for the show to be the best for them, so they could enjoy this all too rare occurrence of being a family. 

Life hadn't been very kind to the Everdeen women. Katniss's dad had passed away when she was eleven, forcing her to take up the role of mother for her sister, as her mom fell into depression. It took years for Lily Everdeen to get back to normalcy, to be able to resume her everyday life, start working again, and go back to her daughters. It wasn't too late for Primrose, who fell back into a relationship with her mother easily, but Katniss never was able to trust her again. 

Tomorrow, though, they would be there, for her, to watch her sing on the stage for the first time  . Katniss felt joy despite her twinge of fear; she hoped she wouldn’t disappoint them. 

But now wasn't the time to think about that. Now was the time to celebrate the good first show, to enjoy a drink with Madge, Gale, and the rest of the group, and to relax before heading home. She’d try not to think about the handsome blond man playing Javert who gave her a cereal bar. 

"Katniss?" 

Madge's voice startled the young woman. "You thought you would escape again?" 

"Again?" 

"First at intercession, and then before the end, you kind of disappeared?" 

"Yeah, I went downstairs to grab a cereal bar." 

"And?" 

"And nothing, I grabbed a cereal bar and went back up after." 

"That's all?" 

"Yes, why?" 

"Because I saw Peeta coming up from the restroom shortly after you did." 

"And?" 

Somehow, Katniss didn't want to share her moment with Peeta with her friend. It was something that belonged to the both of them, and she wasn't ready to talk about it with Madge, or anyone else. She still needed to process what had happened, and get over the tampon shame in order to be able to look at him in the eyes tomorrow. 

"Well, I was wondering if you know,  met him downstairs…." 

"I was getting a cereal bar, Madge. Nothing more." 

"Okay. Grab a beer before we leave?" 

"Sure. Let me get my bag and I'll meet you at the bar." 

After grabbing her purse downstairs, Katniss hurried back to the entry of the theater, meeting her friend at the counter where a Sam Adams was waiting for her. The coolness of the foam and the well-known slightly bitter taste soothed – or pretended to – her throat, bringing a freshness welcomed after so much effort. Tiredness was taking its toll, Katniss realized after Madge had spoken to her for at least five minutes, and couldn't tell what she’d been talking about. She soon said her goodbyes to everyone she could find around, noticing that Haymitch and Finnick were there, but Peeta wasn't. But what surprised Katniss the most was that she was disappointed not to see him before leaving; she wanting to thank him again for the cereal bar. 

 

She left in the chilled October air, her head full of memories of songs, laughs, and talks about books. 

 

Saturday, November 7th. 

It happened every damn time, and she'd thought she would be accustomed to it by now. After every concert they performed, Katniss couldn't find sleep. She spent hours in her bed, tossing and turning endlessly, blaming the quilt for being too hot, blaming the air for being too cold, the pillow for being too wrinkled, and the world in general for putting songs in her head. 

Adrenaline still pumped in her veins, three hours after the show, preventing her from getting any rest. Add to that the memories of blue eyes, a mop of blond hair that keep tormenting her, it all was enough for Katniss to wonder if she would get any sleep at all. Sure, she could always nap a few hours during the afternoon, as she wasn't expected until 5pm at the theater, but a nap never replaced a good night of sleep. 

She was starting to resign herself to take the herbal tea that usually relaxed her, when finally – finally – the fingers of sleep passed over her face and lulled her to sleep. 

 

She woke up all sweaty, in a tangle of sheets, her skin ablaze. She couldn't remember her dream, but was pretty sure it was something about running around, maybe in a forest, because the only time she was that sweaty was after the morning jogs she took now and then. Or after, well, you know. As the latter hadn't happened at all in a while, there was only one possibility left. Running. Maybe her mind was sending her a subconscious message to put on her running shorts and shoes and move her legs down the street. 

 

The only thing was, Katniss didn't really feel like running this morning – her legs were sore after yesterday's rehearsal and show, leaving her to wonder if she could actually get out of bed this morning. She figured a good shower would do the trick, at least it’d be much better than running her usual three miles. 

 

Katniss found herself back at the theater a little before 5 in the afternoon. Rather than stay at home, waiting until the time came, she had grabbed her big bag, complete with a water bottle, a sweater, and a book, and drove to the venture. She was eager to have the comments on last night’s performance, eager to talk to it with her friends, and excited to go back on stage and sing again. 

 

Passing through the hallways, she reached the stairs leading down to the dressing rooms, where she reached the "little chorus nest", as was the place they had settled the day before being affectionately named. Taking her book out of her bag, she settled comfortably on the old couch only to fall into the world of Patricia and her lion, in the confines of Kenya. 

She didn't notice the people passing by, filling the rooms one after another, lost as she was in the Masai dances until she felt lips on her cheeks, startling her from her reading. 

"Always so serious, Kat!" Madge greeted her, full of giddiness as she sat herself next to her friend. "What's the book about this time?" 

"Animals that dance in the moonlight." 

"And that's interesting?" 

"No. Moving, and incredibly well written." 

"Be careful, Katniss, your major is showing" Madge joked. "Anyway, did the cute guy come in already?" 

"The cute guy? You mean Gale?" 

"Nah, Gale is the hot guy. The cute guy is the one doing Javert, you know?" 

"Peeta? You think he's cute?" 

"Yes, Peeta. No, I don't think he's cute, I know he is. And all the women under seventy sure agree about this." 

"I thought the one gossipped about would be, what's his name? Finn?" 

"Finnick? Yeah, he is but the gossip mill pretty much stopped when he spent all his free time at intercession showing us pictures of Annie." 

"Annie?" 

"His wife." 

"He's married?" 

"Seems so. Didn't you notice he had a ring when he came back after the show?" 

"Honestly, Madge, I don't spend my time watching men's fingers, you know?" 

"Well, maybe you should. So, cutie pie isn't here yet?" 

"I have no clue. Go ask Effie, maybe she knows?" 

"Nope. I don’t want to walk. My thighs hurt so much right now! I can't believe we'll have to stand again later. I don't know how I'll do it." Katniss shrugged, not knowing herself how she would be able to do another performance on shaking legs. 

"Magic of being on stage. You won't feel a thing as soon as you come onto the scene and the big curtain opens up.” 

Both women turned towards the male voice that interrupted their conversation. Casually wearing a Yoda t-shirt and cargo pants, a pair of Vans and a jean jacket, Peeta Mellark stood in front of them, smiling. 

"Hello ladies. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I hope I wasn't too impolite?" The look on his face was of concern, if Katniss could tell from what she was seeing. She didn't want him to think she was staring, because she wasn't. She only noticed he had his sleeves rolled because his arms were crossed on his chest;it had nothing at all to do with how his forearms looked strong and defined. Nothing at all. 

"Of course not, Peeta! So you're sure about this magic of the scene stuff?" Madge, as the social butterfly she was, took the reins of the conversation, leaving Katniss to her thoughts. For the first time in the history of their friendship, she minded that the blond, leggy woman was able to talk to anyone at any time, a skill she never wished she possessed more than today. So, instead of being a part of the conversation, she simply listened to the two blondes chatting happily. 

She could feel something in her stomach, though, something unpleasant creeping up…. 

"Oh god." She rose from the couch, and headed towards the toilets, pretty sure she had caught a bug or the flu, or worse, something that would make her go back home. But as she got closer to the restrooms, she realized she didn't have any symptoms of flu. No heat, no headache, no cramps, nothing but these funny feelings in her stomach. Stage fright, maybe? 

Yes, it must have been stage fright, she decided. She never really felt it, always taking the performances she was doing with pleasure and not fear, thoroughly enjoying being on the scene, singing.  It was bound to happen, that one day she would feel it. 

Reassured, she headed back to the room, happy to see that more of her friends had arrived, and that Madge was not talking to Peeta anymore. The fear in her belly melted away. Group effect, she was sure. 

"Where did you run to, Katniss? You had us worried!" 

"I thought I had caught a virus or something, like the flu you know?" 

"You never had the flu in your whole life, Kat!" 

"There's a first for everything, right?" 

"How did this bug feel?" 

"It was strange, really, like my stomach was rippling, moving forth and back, and clapping at the same time. Never felt that before." 

Madge's smile widened, if it was even possible. 

"Like you had butterflies in your stomach?" 

"Something like that." 

"Something like that?" Madge started to chuckle, at Katniss's astonishment. "If I thought I'd live long enough to see the day when Katniss Everdeen had butterflies in her stomach! I need to tell Gale! And  Delly! And Jo!" 

Realization suddenly dawned on Katniss. The mention of butterflies should have triggered a memory or something, after the tons of fanfics she had read, and sometimes snorted at when the heroine was feeling said insects moving in her stomach. 

"Madge! Wait! Where are you going?!" Katniss reached for Madge's arm who was already leaving the room in search of their friends, oblivious to the turmoil inside the brunette's head. 

"To the restrooms, Katniss. I'll never say anything to anyone. It's your business, and I'm kind of sure you haven't sorted things out in your mind. So don't worry, I'll keep what I think to myself." 

"There's nothing to keep, Madge. I'm not that kind of girl, and I don't feel a thing for anyone!" 

"Sure, Kat. You don't." Madge's smile was huge as she opened the door of the restrooms. 

Soon, Katniss found herself in a whirlwind of costumes, makeup, warming voices, little habits and rituals, until the director gathered everybody in the larger space of the dressing rooms. 

Effie was a tiny little woman – Katniss doubted she reached the 5' mark – but with enough energy, power, and strength to keep everybody in line. 

"Please, everybody, shut up! I have good news for you! We could get the guys from Propaganda to come finally – don't ask me what went wrong with their prior engagement – and they will be filming tonight. Just be as good as you all were yesterday, and don't forget to enjoy yourselves! The theater is full, there is an insane buzz going on for this show! Enjoy, have fun, and may the odds be ever in your favor! Now, big hug!" 

The hug was something Katniss couldn’t really relate to. She wasn't used to them, being kind of a reclusive woman, the only person she gave them freely to was her sister. This time, though, she couldn't escape the tide of arms, hands gathering around her, holding her, warming her. She noticed one arm, though, different from the girls', clearly masculine. Clearly well-defined, with muscles and sinews showing up, scattered with light blond hair on them, giving Katniss a sense of deja-vu. 

She connected the dots as the scent of cinnamon wafted from behind,   realizing it was Peeta's left arm across her back, holding her waist  . Because of course the guy had to be hot, gifted, kind, educated, and also smell like a bakery. And no, she wasn't attracted to him, these weren't butterflies, just stage fright. Right. 

The hug was quickly gone as everyone gathered their accessories, part of costumes, false rifles, and hats. The choristers found themselves in their units quickly too – and the show began. 

 

Just like the day before, everything went smoothly. Katniss spotted early on where her mother and sister were sitting, the two blondes   close together in the middle of the audience – just as she’d recommended. Somehow, she had found herself closer to the middle of the stage, where the actors made their entrance, as Stephanie switched places with her. Katniss didn't mind, though, she was getting a much better view of the scene and  what was happening . And it had nothing to do with the proximity of the actors when they were nearby. 

No, nothing at all. 

The dreaded moment appeared, when At The End Of The Day started, with its crazy rhythm, so many words, and no time to breathe. Katniss had merely caught her breath when Javert appeared on stage to talk to Valjean. She couldn't suppress a small sigh at seeing Peeta in full uniform, in the white light, his blond hair a golden halo deepened by the blue of his eyes. It was like the dust stopped to let him pass, to let him get where he should be, right in the front. 

But he was playing the bad guy, the one everybody hated in the story, the one who spent his life chasing a good guy, a former convict, and somehow in his acting, he succeeded in making Javert on   edge, almost… likable. 

The scene played out, Valjean helping the poor Fauchelevent form the cart he was stuck under, Javert asking to write a letter to the higher-ups, before exiting the stage. 

Only this time, instead of turning left as was planned, he turned right, and Katniss thought for a second she saw him wink at her on his way out. As if the man would pay her any attention, even if they shared an interesting conversation on books the day before. No, there was no way he had winked at her, right? Right. 

Katniss was so lost in her reflections she missed the beginning of the next song, realizing a bit too late that she had to perform. She easily caught up with the rest of the chorus, falling into the now familiar rhythm, and decided to focus solely on her performance for now. They had a show to give, it wasn't time to waste thoughts about a possible wink that may or may not have happened. 

She strengthened her resolve, deciding to be strong and undistracted. 

This good resolution lasted a good six minutes and seventeen seconds. 

Because as soon as Haymitch and Peeta engaged themselves in the confrontation, both their voices echoing in the silence of the theater, the audience hanging on every word they sang, Katniss felt goosebumps rising under her black shirt; at the intensity of the scene playing right in front of her, at the restrained violence between the two men, at the force Haymitch had to put to bring Peeta down. This was so beyond amateur theater, so beyond everything she'd been part of, she wondered for a second if she had any right at being on stage, at being on the same scene as these professionals, only to remember the praises they got from the three men during the rehearsals. 

Backstage, as the first part of the show came to its end and the choristers waited to come onstage for the last song, Katniss wondered where she should stand at the end of it.  As all the players of the musical gathered on stage, first hugging each other before turning into a V-shaped formation, everybody had to plan carefully where to stand and be aware of each other as to not  be too much in front. The music started, Enjolras came onto stage, and the crowd gathered. 

Katniss had planned her position carefully – not too far behind, but not too close to the front scene, and as far away from the soloists as possible,  as not to be disturbed by a drop of sweat. Or stage fright. 

She went on stage, aiming at Madge on the other side to give her the hug she was supposed to give, before taking her place at her side, when she separated by another member of the cast, someone she couldn't remember the name of. 

Then Glimmer took the opportunity to turn her a little and hug her – filling her nose with a perfume way too strong for a seventeen year old girl – before Vincent hugged her again, taking her completely off the place she had thought about, bringing her close to him, just behind Peeta. 

Because of course, it has to be just behind him, right? One drop of sweat yesterday wasn't enough, she needed to watch at least three of them between the nape of his hairline, falling on the collar of his uniform. There must have been some kind of sweat-curse on her, a voodoo doll with her name on it somewhere in New Orleans that pushed her to this man like a ship to a lighthouse. 

The song came to an end shortly after, the curtain falling for intercession. Trying to go backstage quickly, she was stopped by Vincent. 

"Katniss! Can you hold this?" He handed her the red flag he had been waving. "I have to announce   intercession... please?" Without any more talk, he put the wooden stick in her hands, grabbed his whiskey bottle and went to the other side of the curtain, making the audience laugh at his drunken behavior. 

"Katniss! That was good, right? Better than yesterday, I think." 

Of course, in the midst of it all, Peeta had turned around and seen her. 

"Yeah, I think so, but I'll trust you. I'm not a pro, you know." 

Peeta was now facing her, messing with the thin link around his head that maintained the mike he wore. He stopped his movement at her words, barely spoken, just above a whisper. 

"There are no professionals or amateurs here, just singers. Don’t think less of the amazing job you're all doing here – what you all brought up with the choir, really, it's not the same as it was before. The sound we have is amazing. Thank you for that, it gives us so much more relief." 

She didn't look at him – with her luck, there would be some sweat on his forehead – rather focusing on wrapping the flag carefully, as it was needed in the last song. Maybe he would go away, and she wouldn't feel these things in her belly – who gets stage fright at intermission, really? 

But he didn't move. She could see him under her eyelashes, as he was fumbling with his mike again – come on, how can it be that difficult to take off a headset?Finally deciding it was best for her to exit discreetly into the backstage. 

She considered going downstairs, really considered it, even took the first steps of the staircase, but then  the noise hit her, reminding her of how many people were cradled in the basement. She turned halfway down, climbing up, and started looking around for a place to rest in solitude. 

She knew where she wanted to go; it was obvious. She wanted to grab her book and find a place to read it, away from the crowd now singing and celebrating downstairs. 

"Katniss? You're not coming?" Madge asked, as she passed her friend on the staircase. 

"In a minute, I forgot something on stage…." 

Yeah, that was an excuse that could buy her time. A bit of it, anyway. 

She resolutely started walking straight to the scene, passing a couple more people on the way that were headed to the basement too, each one of them a promise of more calming minutes for her. 

Katniss carefully poked through the curtain to check how many people were still there. To her surprise, the scene was empty, completely, the only sound being the muffled voices of the crowd on the other side, a vague noise of chairs, chatter, and movement. Releasing a breath, she stepped forward, grabbed her blanket, and carefully spread it onto the stage unit before lying down. There, on the hardwood, she closed her eyes, and began taking deep breaths to relax herself. She could feel her body still aching from all the standing up, all the moves, and wished she had had the willpower to go for a walk in the morning, or do a bit of yoga to get her sore muscles a bit of relief. 

She stretched her legs, trying to decide on whether or not she should take her shoes off, before settling  on not to, just in case she couldn't put them back on. She let her thoughts drift to another time, another place, when she was younger, playing with her sister in a meadow. 

"You really have a beautiful singing voice." 

The soft murmur of the deep voice startled her so much she nearly jumped in surprise. 

"Peeta! What are you doing here? Why?" 

"Same as you, I guess. Trying to find a quiet place… the noise downstairs, it's just too much, I really can't. I mean, I love being part of a troupe like this, but I need some alone time too. I usually come on stage at intercession." 

"You finally got rid of the mike?" 

His hand flew to his hair. She followed its path through his messy locks, where the mike had been, when she felt her own hands begin to move, as if they were the ones which wanted to run through his hair, finding their way in the mop of blond curls. 

She realized her hand was making the same motions with her own hair, tucking a lock behind her ear. She hoped it looked as casual as it felt awkward to her. 

"Yeah, I always have trouble with them, they tangle in my hair. There's always a tiny one that is caught in the wires, so when I take it off, it hurts. I'd rather be careful , because each time, well, I lose hair. Or I'll end up completely bald, I don't know." 

He laughed, a deep, vibrating laugh that caught Katniss a bit off guard, bringing back the nervousness in her stomach. She had to find a way to get rid of this stage fright sooner than later. Who knew what could happen if she got stuck in the moment and couldn't move from the scene. 

"Katniss? Are you okay?" 

Flushing, the young woman rose from the stage unit, and began  to fold the blanket to store it for the next day. She tried to ignore Peeta's question, not wanting to appear unsure in the presence of a seasoned professional. 

She didn't anticipate his next move. She felt his hand on her arm, a gentle pressure just a bit more than the touch of a feather. 

"Tell me. Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?" 

Of course he was thinking he did something, she thought, turning away from him a bit more, trying to breathe deeply to get rid of these sensations in her belly. 

"Katniss?" 

The question was now loaded with worry, laced with concern, and she knew she had to answer. Taking a deep breath, she faced the back curtain, trying to find the courage to word her concern. 

"I have stage fright," she muttered shyly, almost ashamed of saying it. 

"Then I can help." 

She turned her head at his words, hoping to face him, but definitely not this close. He had moved onto the stage unit to position himself directly behind her, finding him instead face to face with her. 

"What do you think you’re doing?" She felt a scowl forming on her forehead, her usual trademark when something bothered her. This time she couldn't really pinpoint what bothered her more, the fact that this fear was getting bigger and bigger as the intercession was coming to an end, or that he took the liberty to invade her personal space without asking. 

"Helping. Turn around, I'll show you how to get rid of this fear." 

"Oh. And why are you so close?" 

"Because I will need to touch you?" 

"You what? No! You can't touch me!" 

Peeta chuckled, looking over his shoulder to check on the stage. 

"I'm not going to hurt you, Katniss. Just going to show you how to breathe, so you won't feel this fright. But if you don't want me to…" He rose his hands, and beganto walk away from her, retreating with a small smile on his lips. 

"No! Yes… I don't know, okay! I don't want to feel these things inside when I'm on stage, but I'm not comfortable with the touching part, you know?" 

"I wouldn't have guessed…" the young man muttered, smirking. "Now, we don’t have much time, so can I show you?" She nodded. "It all has to do with breathing. You have to breathe into your belly, not  into your lungs." 

"I'm not going to die, right?" 

He laughed, before he started grabbing the hem of his shirt, showing her a flat stomach, a pair of abs, and a line of blond hair a shade darker than  the hair on his head. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Showing you how to breathe." 

"By stripping?" 

"I'm not stripping. Just lifting my shirt. Look at my stomach when I inhale." 

Katniss hesitated, looking from his mouth to his belly, and no, she wasn't staring at the defined muscles she could see there or the start of a V being lost in his pants. And no, it definitely didn’t make the anxiety in her stomach stronger than it was before. Coming back to his mouth, she watched as he took in a deep breath, and let her eyes follow down until, indeed, his belly swelled with air. Katniss wasn't sure how she would achieve the same thing... it seemed somehow unnatural to  breathe with her belly. 

"Then you quiet everything. Don't let go of the air straight on. And when you do, just … sing through it. Easy as ABC, you'll see." 

He let go of his breath and of his shirt, quickly tucking it back into his pants, and moved closer to Katniss. 

"You want me to lift my shirt?" she asked, dread lacing her words as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

"No, you don't need to. Just put your hands on your belly, and feel it. Just feel it." 

Katniss was intrigued enough to try it. Slowly, she let her hands fall on her stomach, finding the plain  flesh under her ribs, trying to find a movement she was sure wasn't there. Until she felt it. As she took in a breath, she felt her belly moving, swelling lightly. She was sure her face showed the shock she was feeling when she lifted her head to look at Peeta, amazed. 

"I feel it!" 

"Of course you do. Now try to get as much air in your belly as possible." 

"How do I do that?" 

"Close your eyes, think of nothing. Nature will do what she has to." 

"Nature?" She was doubtful Mother Nature could do anything to help her. 

"Close your eyes, Katniss, don't overthink this. Just relax, and inspire." 

"Just inspire?" 

"Just inspire." 

She lifted her eyes to stare into Peeta's , trying not to get lost in the sea of blue gazing back at her, which were full of confidence... and something else she couldn't name. Or maybe, wouldn't name. 

Without breaking the connection between them, she took in another deep breath, focusing on her belly, and realized that this time, the swell was getting bigger and bigger, and the nervous feeling  was getting weaker and weaker. She looked at her belly in awe. 

"Is it working? Are you feeling better?" 

"I … I do…," 

But she wasn't. As soon as she had released her breath and saw Peeta's smile, the feelings came back full force, like little feathers sweetly torturing her. She was starting to question if this was really a bad case of stage fright, or if this had more to do with something going wrong with her. Something else she didn't know how to name. 

"Good. It's easy, really." 

"Thank you, Peeta." 

"No problem. I have to go downstairs, hope you don't mind?" 

"No, it's okay . I'll stay here, the break is nearly over, right?" 

"Yeah, guess so. We'll talk later?" 

"Sure." 

With a whirl of the curtain, Peeta was gone, as well as the little feathers in her belly. 

She really, really started to wonder if she was allergic to Peeta or something. 

 

Or maybe it was something else. 

The second part started well enough for Katniss, who tried to focus on belly-breathing, chasing away images of a line of blond hair on defined abs, or at least trying to, until the barricade scene came. 

It wasn't the choristers' favorite part of the show, far from it, as they had close to nothing to do then, but to physically hold on to the shaking barricade. This night, Katniss found herself near the stairway leading to the top, trying with all her hundred and fourteen pounds to add more weight to prevent the barricade from falling, when Peeta showed up. Javert was to climb up and try to trick the students into believing nothing would happen that night. 

Only tonight, when the young man arrived to climb on the barricade, she found herself once again next to him. He was completely focused on the stairs, eyes far away, not seeing anyone around as if he was lost in his own world. That's when she felt them again, those shivers down in her belly, fluttering, flying, confined to the back of her stomach, almost fighting to explode all of her body. Katniss closed her eyes, remembering what she had been told a couple minutes ago, and began taking deep breaths, focusing on the air, as well as the wall in front of her. Maybe, maybe, if she concentrated enough, she would be able to calm the butterfly farm in her stomach. 

At the sound of the music signaling Javert's entrance on the barricade, Katniss made the mistake of opening her eyes, finding them immediately locked on a sea of blue, sparkling, looking straight into her own, as if trying to learn everything about her. She felt his gaze throughout her entire body, warming her, setting the things in her stomach on fire, and making her knees buckle. Until he winked at her. Just in passing, a quick wink before he grabbed the homemade banister and stood up on the barricade. 

He winked at me, she thought, not really believing her own eyes. Why, why would he do such a thing? 

On a loop, the question came to her mind, as if she couldn't think of anything else. Only the sounds of the fake rifles shooting took her out of her wink-stalled reverie, causing her to jump and try focussing on what was going on on the stage. It was nearly time to clear the barricade, the end of the story was coming quickly, and she needed to concentrate on the last lines, as she was the one going on the scene first to sing the epilogue. 

She thought she caught glimpses of blue eyes and blond hair as she walked, hidden between the curtains of the stage. She quickly dismissed it, however, not wanting to fall into another round of questions, as she had to focus on the crowd in front of her, where her mother and sister were seated. She couldn't wait to meet them in the lobby, to have their opinions on the show, and maybe, maybe to ask them about these cramps in her stomach. 

Soon enough, the finale came, the salutes were done, the curtains were closed, and it was time to retreat to the dressing room to celebrate another good show, and also try  to forget the sadness that there was only one more left, only one last time of being onstage. 

The voice of the director broke the tempest of screams, laughs, and shouts. 

"Well, everybody, I'd like for us all to meet up tomorrow for lunch; choristers, actors, everyone. Tomorrow, we celebrate together, this awesome adventure. Meeting is here at 11:30! Thank you for tonight. It was amazing!" 

The applause was laced with laughter and cheers as everybody congratulated the person next to him. Katniss took it all in, even falling into Madge's and Delly's arms, relishing in the warmth and joy of her friends, before taking her leave to meet her family. 

The crowd of people gathered around the bar was huge, as a lot of the audience stood back to enjoy the drink, chat with friends, or waited for a family member that was on stage. Katniss spotted her mother and sister quite easily, the two blondes chatting with a couple of other women, a glass of cider in hand. 

She made her way across the crowd, trying not to bump into too many men and women, until she reached her family. 

"Katniss! You were lovely on stage!" Lilian Everdeen hugged her daughter, quickly followed by her other daughter. 

"Thanks, Mom, but you could barely see me…." 

"Come on, sweetie, we were looking for you! Even though we had a lot of distraction!" 

"Yeah, the show's really good!" 

"That, and you got some really hot men too,” her sister chimed in. 

"PRIM!" 

"It's true! Those professionals are really good-looking men…." One of the other women – Elizabeth Cartwright, Delly's mother, said dreamily. 

"Come on, Katniss, you can't say you haven't noticed! You're on the stage with them!" 

"No? I mean, I have other things to think of on stage rather than Finnick's body or Haymitch's hair! We have a show to do, you know?" 

"Oh, Haymitch is an awesome Valjean, really. The scenes with the blond guy are so tense! It really was a great show!" Lilian said, her eyes lost in a dream. 

"Peeta." 

"What pita?" Prim asked, question clearly displayed on her face. 

"The guy playing Javert. His name is Peeta." 

"Well, he is as eatable as his name!" 

"Prim!" Katniss could feel her cheeks burning at the thought of her baby sister talking about eating a man. 

"Katniss, I'm not eleven anymore. I have a boyfriend, you know…" 

"Well, then you shouldn't be talking like that about another man, and you shouldn't talk like that, period!" 

"Katniss, get off your high horse, I'm just kidding. But this Peeta is really, really yummy." 

"Prim!" 

"You should totally get his number, you know." 

"Why would I need his number for?" 

Prim rolled her eyes. "To call him, duh!" 

"Why would I call him?" 

"Katniss, you are desperate!" 

"Maybe? But can I talk to you about something?" Katniss looked around, seeing her mother was in a discussion with her friends, and she could have the full attention of her sister. 

"Of course. Everything okay?" 

"Yes, I'm okay, but I have these things in my stomach that are bothering me." 

"Things? You'll have to be a little more precise…" Here it was. Primrose had come down from sister-dearest to soon-to-be-doctor-Everdeen in less than two seconds.   

"I don't know how to describe them, Prim!" 

"Cramps? Does it tickle? Does it hurt? Does it burn? Where, exactly?" 

"Wow, Prim, slow down! Nothing like that. It's just like there are feathers in here," Katniss pointed a finger at her belly, "or like, I don't know, there's something that wants to come out, you know?" 

"Bad something or good something?" 

"Hum, I'd say good something?" 

"Does it happen all the time? Did you feel it before?" 

Katniss took Prim's smile as a clue that her sister knew what was going on inside of her and that it wasn't that bad. Maybe a couple of pills and she'll be done. 

"No, it started yesterday, really. Maybe some kind of stage fright?" 

"Did you feel yourself becoming hot? More clumsy than usual?" 

"Yes, a bit… you know what it is?" 

"Sure. Not difficult to figure it out, really." 

"Can it be cured?" 

"Yes, easily!" 

"Prim! Tell me what it is!" 

"You don't know? Really? Katniss, come on." 

"Why do you think I asked you? If I need clothes advice, I call Madge. If I want the latest gossip, I call Delly. For my health, I ask you or mom!" 

"Well, I bet both Dels and Madge could have helped you with this." 

Katniss opened her eyes wider, searching her brain for something she couldn't quite place. 

"Prim, will you tell me? Or I’ll tell Thomas you ogled Finnick during the entire show!" 

The younger woman giggled, placing her hand on her sister's shoulder before leaning in and whispering softly in her ear, "You've got a crush, Katniss. And my bet is on Peeta." 

"Peeta?" 

"See, you don't even deny it!" 

"I do, I don't have a crush on anybody!" 

"You do, Katniss. And really, it's okay. And you'll feel better when you accept it. I bet you won't have stage fright anymore. Get his number!" 

"Prim, are you ready? My shift starts in an hour,“ their mom chimed in, turning to her older daughter. "Kitty, it was wonderful. You are beautiful on stage, your dad would be so proud…." At the mention of their father, Lilian's eyes began to sparkle with tears. 

"Mom…." 

"Shh… Katniss. Learn to take a compliment okay? We have to go, sweetie." 

"Thanks for coming, Mom.” 

Katniss's words were lost in the hug her mother gave her, full of flowers, the smell of the perfume she wore all her life, and her reminder of a husband lost so many years ago. 

Prim was next, whispering in her sister's ear things about getting a phone number soon, to keep her posted about everything, before following their mother out into the cold October night. 

 

"Katniss?" 

Hearing her name, she turned to the source of the voice, watching her friend Delly with her mother, arms linked, smiling at her. 

"Do you need a ride back?" 

"It's okay, Dels. It's my turn to help cleaning tonight, and I drove here." 

"I'll see you tomorrow? You're coming for the lunch, are you?" 

"I don’t…." 

"Katniss Everdeen, don't "I don't know” me. It wasn't a question! It will be the last time we'll all be together. You're coming with us! I'll come and pick you up at 11!" 

"I can drive, Delly!" 

"Yeah, but this way I'm sure you'll arrive on time." 

 

Sunday, November 8th. 

 

"It's Thanksgiving before Thanksgiving!" Katniss looked at the old table, completely covered with an assortment of food,  solo cups, and plastic plates. Everywhere, dishes were haphazardly arranged, salads next to a pumpkin pie, something that looked very much like a pineapple upside down cake, lying close to a white box containing undoubtedly more goodness. Delly was already chatting with a small group, always the social butterfly, Madge was in deep conversation with Gale, her hand in her hair, twirling it shyly, as if she didn't know she already had Gale wrapped around her finger. 

Katniss picked up a plastic plate, carefully eyeing the amount of dishes on the table, trying to establish a priority on what to eat. Somehow, her eyes always came back to the white box, as if wondering what treasure could be hidden inside it. But nobody was taking the first step to opening this damn box, maybe too afraid of finding something that didn't live up to their expectations. Or maybe they were too busy digging into Mrs Cartwright’s pumpkin pies and homemade salads to care about what was inside. 

Wherever she was, though, Katniss's eyes always came back to it. She finally caved in, not caring to be the first one to peek inside the white box, and opened it carefully. 

The aroma overwhelmed her senses. The smell of warm, fresh bread, goat cheese, and a hint of oregano assailed her nose and filled her with a desire to grab the box for herself and hide away with it. She was now on a mission to protect the cheese buns with her life, as if it were the most precious treasure in the world. Which it was, for Katniss. Kind of. 

She cautiously picked one of them, still lukewarm in her small hand, brought it to her mouth, and took a bite. She wasn't able to silence the moan that came out of her as she took in the savory taste of the cheese and oregano melting on her tongue. The desire to grab them all, to hold them captive within her close periphery was suddenly more present than it was two minutes ago. There was now no way anybody would eat one of them if she could prevent it. She looked all around, taking in her immediate surroundings, before going back to the pastries in the box. Eleven left. Maybe she could just take them downstairs and eat some before the show or maybe take them home later. Nobody would notice they were missing, right? There was so much food still on the table,  a box of eleven cheese buns missing would be nothing. And as she was the only one who noticed them… her decision made. Katniss closed the box, discreetly turning on her heels for the door to the dressing rooms. She had an empty Tupperware in her bag in which she could put the remaining buns if need be. 

Katniss made her way down the stairs, relinquishing in the calm and peace of the empty rooms, as everybody was upstairs eating, drinking, or singing. She would go back to them in a moment, as soon as the buns were safe and sound in her large bag. She had already picked the bottle of Chardonnay that would complement them that night, when she would eat them on her couch, while watching her latest Netflix addiction. 

She discarded the white carton box once all the remaining buns had been cautiously put in the Tupperware she had the foresight to bring, saving three of them for her immediate consumption. 

"Well, I guess I found the thief…." 

Always this voice, rich and deep, echoing in the resounding silence of the dressing room. Katniss almost choked on the bite she had just taken. How did she not hear him come downstairs? She was usually able to hear the faintest of footfalls, thanks to hours spent in the woods with her father, hunting and gathering. 

This time, though, she had been so immersed in her cheese bun that she didn't hear Peeta's arrival. She turned to face him, her hand stilled somewhere between the Tupperware and her mouth, strands of cheese falling out of the bun. 

Her throat went dry at being caught in the act, realizing she had actually stolen some food that maybe some people would have liked to eat. Including Peeta. Oh god. 

She swallowed her bite with difficulty, finding herself in dire need of two bottles of water, taking the time to gather her thoughts to explain why she was hiding away with a full load of cheese buns. 

"I'm so sorry… I thought, well nobody had opened the box, so I assumed nobody wanted them and I kind of…." 

"Took them all?" 

"Well, technically not all, I had already eaten one so… Here, take one!" She took the container from her bag, opening it, overwhelmed again by the smell of the cheese buns inside, and handed it over to Peeta. 

"No, it's okay. Keep them." 

"Please, you have to taste them, they are amazing!" 

"Oh, I know they're good, don't worry," Peeta smiled, leaning on the doorjamb and crossing his arms in front of his chest, the movement stretching his blue t-shirt. 

"How can you? You didn't taste them." 

"Katniss, I made them." 

"What?" 

"I baked them. Me make cheese buns, as Tarzan would say." 

"You baked them? How?" 

"You sure you want the recipe now? It will take time, as they have to go through a rise." 

"No!" Oh god, could she look more like an idiot? She couldn't believe right now she majored in English, where were her words, her lines when she needed them? She needed to clear her mind, and apparently her stomach too, because the cheese buns made the stage fright come back with a vengeance. And no, it wasn't a silly crush like Prim thought. 

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and sorted her words. 

"That's not what I meant." Another breath. Inhale, exhale. "I wanted to ask how you had time to bake them. It's not some powder thingy, right?" 

Moving from the doorjamb, Peeta took two steps that brought him to where Katniss was seated on the floor, and crouched down in front of her. 

"I never sleep well the night before the last show. So I busy myself. And it helps my family owns a bakery." 

"You're a baker?" 

"I'm a lot of things, Katniss. But you have to be willing to discover them all." 

The growing noise of sixty people moving down the stairs started to fill the air in the dressing rooms. Peeta rose slowly, keeping his eyes on her all the time, before leaving to start his transformation into Javert. He was gone before the rest of the troupe had arrived. 

"Katniss! We were looking for you!" 

"I'm right here." 

"Thank you, Sherlock! Case solved." 

"You know you're hilarious, Madge?" 

\- 

There has always been something bittersweet about a last show. The last time they prepare, packing the items after they'd been used, putting the dresses in  large bins, singing songs for the last time. 

Being part of the musical for the last time. 

Katniss realized there would be plenty of things she'd miss about this show, lots of small nothings nobody cared about until right now, when it was the last time. 

Seeing Darius stroke the small bracelet he's taken from the front of his apron that somehow helped him transform into Thenardier; hearing Finnick tease every girl around him, making them blush, when he actually couldn't stop talking about his wife and kid; watching Haymitch trying to get his hands on Effie's back discreetly, as if nobody had spotted them making out the day before against a wall outside the theater; or just being on the stage, taking in all the goodness an audience could give, basking in the projector lights, enjoying herself. 

In a mere two hours, they would be done. Completely, finally. Katniss couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness clutching at her insides, making the fluttering even more disturbing. Once again, she had felt these things inside, perhaps stronger than the day before. They weren't that much of a bother, she realized, rather allowing her to enjoy being on stage, despite the fear, despite the shortness of it. 

And for the first time, she wondered what it would be like not to feel them anymore. 

Time passed. Scenes moved along, one after another. Haymitch singing brilliantly, Peeta responding. Darius stroking the little bracelet, then singing his heart out with Johanna. Gale climbing on a table, encouraging the students to join him in their fight for the people. Until One More Day. For the last time. 

Katniss wanted time to stop, or at least to slow down. Everything was moving too quickly. The pacing, the timing, made perfect after hours of rehearsal, each move carefully thought of, each step echoing the song. She found herself hugged a little bit more, a little bit longer, she heard the lyrics being sung with a more force in their tune, or maybe more sadness…. This time she found herself in the background, her voice somehow stronger than usual, carrying her words over the heads of the other members, as she let go of everything. Tomorrow she’d care about her voice, about whether she could pick up the phone or not, or just do her job. 

Intercession came too soon, the curtains closing on the stage for the penultimate time, prompting everyone around to gather the barrels, or pieces of furniture that wouldn't be used anymore and put them directly in the truck, closing the doors on the act before the last one began. 

After all the packing was done, Katniss found herself watching the empty backstage, the emptier scene in front of her, hearing the noise of the crowd on the other side of the blue curtain. Today, she would not stay here, bathing in the white light, taking in the calm and quiet. She felt too sad about leaving everybody in a couple of hours. She made her way downstairs. It wasn't as if Peeta was waiting for her, right? 

The noise was relentless in the dressing room. People were singing, hugging, some were crying, others were eating the remnants of the lunch. Dresses were packed too, giving the dressing rooms an air of almost emptiness, as if the show was already over. 

Effie came in, all heels and a complex hairstyle, as well as designer jeans and blouse, asking for silence. 

"All right, everybody, a quick word before we all head back up there. This adventure comes to an end in a beautiful finale, and I want to thank each and every one of you for your involvement in this musical. Thank you to the troupe of the musical, it's been so great working together on this for so long… and now, please, I would like a thunderous applause for the choristers of Panem for joining us for these series of concerts, bringing  us so much more!" Her words were soon covered by the ruckus only a large group could make when deciding to get together again. 

Katniss felt herself blushing under the applause, only to see her fellow choristers were like her, looking somewhere between shy and proud, not used to being praised for something as simple as singing. 

"I can't thank you enough for bringing your voices to this musical, for helping create this ensemble – it's now exactly as I wanted it to be, thanks to you all!" The perky woman turned around, waving her hands excitedly in the air. "Come on everybody, group hug!" 

To Katniss's mortification, she found herself lost in a sea of hands and arms, in the middle of many people shouting, a position she felt uncomfortable in, until a smell of oregano and warm hands on her arm made her change her mind completely. 

It seemed to her that this hand lingered a little longer after the hug was broken. 

 

The remaining time before going back on stage was lost in taking an insane number of pictures, goofing around, and making faces. Katniss remained with her friends, staying as far away from the chaos as possible, indulging in taking some photos with the people she befriended during the show. 

She couldn't help but look at the pros' dressing room, the one whose door remained closed throughout the ruckus. 

The buzzing sound signaling intercession was over resounded suddenly, breaking the happy streak of noises. The mood immediately turned more serious.  People started rushing up the stairs, as the last part of Les Mis was about to begin. 

 

The only good part of the show this time for the choristers was spending more than half of the act hidden behind the barricade, which allowed them all kinds of goofiness. They made faces at the assailants when they were popping over the top of the false wall, threw back the foam bricks that were sent their way, took pictures without flashes, and cheered with each other. Surprisingly, even for her, Katniss participated in this general fun, already tainted with a bit of nostalgia. Soon the barricade will be gone forever, soon there wouldn't be any more foam bricks to throw back, soon the lights would be turned off, and the theater would be empty. Soon, it would be over. 

Soon too, she would be done with this goddam stage fright, whatever it was. 

 

The end came too quickly. Valjean died, brought into the light by Fantine and Eponine, as the first notes of the last lyrics came. She followed her steps onto the stage, singing the last lines with all her heart, joined by the other singers one after another, until the whole troupe finished. 

The curtain closed. 

It was over. 

Salutes and thanks went by too quickly. 

There was a lot of applause. 

Effie cried when she was handed roses. 

The lights went out. 

 

It was time to say goodbye. 

 

Monday November 9th. 

Emptiness. 

That's what Katniss had felt waking up that morning, as she began her Monday morning routine of showering, breakfast, clothes, driving to work, and stopping for her usual chocolate with double cream and cinnamon on the way. 

The usual. 

The day went by painfully slow, empty of songs, laughs, and cheers. Empty of music, lights, and screams. Empty off applause, of sore throats and legs, of the gift to give and receive much more. 

Empty. 

Cold. 

Sad. 

Katniss came back to her apartment a bit earlier than usual. She had rushed her day to end, not wanting to spend any more time than needed at work. 

Wanting to see if Prim had kept her promise of sending pictures of the show, she opened her laptop and logged into her Gmail account. 

Nothing. 

But she had notifications on her Facebook. 

As if she knew how to use it. Prim had created her an account months ago (or maybe it was years, she couldn't remember), but she never used it. The mail notification telling her she needed to approve of things to be added to her journal surprised her. 

She clicked on the link. 

After successfully remembering the password for her account, thanks to Prim's elaborated question ("What was the name of your favorite cat"), she logged in. 

She found out the rest of her friends were using Facebook. Pictures of Gale, Madge, and Delly were displayed in front of her. Johanna and Darius, in their disheveled clothes as the Thenardier were smiling at her, a large jar in each of their hands. Gale, with his red jacket, smiling, his arm draped casually around Madge's shoulder. 

Haymitch, looking at Effie from far away. Finnick, in the pros’ dressing room, texting on his phone. Peeta smiling at a picture. 

Katniss smiled as the memories passed in front of her. There, she would keep the time. They were instances that would always be linked to a very good moment. 

She realized she was tagged in some pictures, with the choristers only, or with all the group. 

The night outside had fallen when she received a request to be friends with someone. 

The name shone on the screen. 

Peeta Mellark. 

The flutters came back with a vengeance, like a herd of butterflies in her stomach. 

Katniss took a deep breath. 

She clicked ‘confirm’.

**Author's Note:**

> My universe-sized thanks to the amazing dandelion-sunset, who's a terrific author, and did me the honor of betaing this story.  
> But most importantly, she did me the honor of becoming her friend. and that's priceless.
> 
> Please let me know whether you liked this or not :)  
> I'm thegirlfromoverthepond on tumblr :)


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